Tuesday, March 19, 2013

'Glee'-Cap: Michael Jackson Invades McKinley High

King of Pop's takeover leads to some head-scratching song choices.

By Jim Cantiello







<P>"Glee" paid tribute to Michael Jackson during Tuesday night's episode and, shockingly, kept the story moving along in the midst of several MJ-inspired musical numbers. Kurt, Rachel and Quinn all received great news about college, Rachel finally accepted Finn's proposal and evil Sebastian's plot to harm Kurt with a doctored slushee backfired when Blaine took the hit for his boyfriend.
</P><P>
</P><P></p><div class="player-placeholder right" title="'Glee'-Cap: Michael Jackson Takes Over McKinley High" id="vid:730282.id:1671179" width="240" height="211"></div><p>
</P><P>
</P><P>Yet the forced "all Michael, all the time" song selection led to some head-scratching scenes including Kurt, Rachel and Finn serenading an injured Blaine with Jackson's love song to a rat, "Ben," and two different music-video re-enactments only appealed to Jackson superfans. The rest of us can enjoy my latest "Glee-cap"! Hit play on the embedded video and sing along with these lyrics.
</P><P>
</P><P>"Glee," "Glee" 's really hit the skids<br>
</P><P>MJ would have loved all the singing kids
</P><P>
</P><P>Time for a tribute<br>
</P><P>Veiled as a dispute<br>
</P><P>They all imitate<br>
</P><P>Michael's vocal takes
</P><P>
</P><P>Wish they didn't try<br>
</P><P>To simply ape his sigh<br>
</P><P>I guess "Glee" got paid<br>
</P><P>In tickets to <a href="http://newsroom.mtv.com/2011/12/07/jackson-family-and-crew-talk-about-new-cirque-du-soleil-show-michael-jackson-immortal/">Cirque du Soleil</a>
</P><P>
</P><P>It's bad! It's bad! Come on!
</P><P>
</P><P>Oh, pointless themed episodes<br>
</P><P>Make me push fast-forward on my TiVo
</P><P>
</P><P>Artie's "Scream" remake<br>
</P><P>Complete with head shakes<br>
</P><P>Tired of getting dissed<br>
</P><P>Mike Chang's now his sis?
</P><P>
</P><P>Warblers fight for songs<br>
</P><P>No prob doing wrong<br>
</P><P>They're all blindly cruel<br>
</P><P>Since Blaine left their school
</P><P>
</P><P>Quinn sang goodbye to every ex<br>
</P><P>Have a seat, this'll take awhile<br>
</P><P>(She's had lots of sex)<br>
</P><P>Quinn got into Yale<br>
</P><P>And I'm all, "How?" <br>
</P><P>Then got distracted by Damian's hyper eyebrows
</P><P>
</P><P>They're bad! They're bad! Relax them! <br>
</P><P>If you don't, I will come wax them!
</P><P>
</P><P>Slutpig tried to slushee Kurt<br>
</P><P>But Blaine got in the way<br>
</P><P>Left him needing surgery<br>
</P><P>How dare you hurt my gay! <br>
</P><P>Despite Blaine's cute eye patch<br>
</P><P>Kurt is hungry for revenge<br>
</P><P>But that's a different better show on ABC, my friend
</P><P>
</P><P>"Glee," drop the shtick, you're better than this<br>
</P><P>Forcing Jackson songs is just as bad as this forced kiss<br>
</P><P>Just because you can afford it doesn't mean it has worth<br>
</P><P>Unless you're trying to give me nightmares<br>
</P><P>In that case, it worked
</P><P>
</P><P>No more bells and whistles, please<br>
</P><P>Clever songs are all you need<br>
</P><P>I get it, Ryan Murphy, Blaine had to bleed<br>
</P><P>So <a href="/news/articles/1676997/darren-crisis-how-to-succeed-in-business.jhtml">Darren could star in "How to Succeed"</a>
</P><P>
</P><P>But making Kurt and Finchel sing "Ben" to Blaine<br>
</P><P>Is the very definition of insane<br>
</P><P>I hope next week they get it right<br>
</P><P>With no stupid guests hogging "Glee" 's spotlight
</P><P>
</P><P>[<i>Cue clip of next week's episode starring Ricky Martin</i>]
</P><P>
</P><P>Whoops!
</P><P>
</P><P><i>What did you think of this week's "Glee"? Let us know in the comments!</i></p>



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